You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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