if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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