But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
