you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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