i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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