There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
