Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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