I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
