I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
