It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
