spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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