Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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