Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
