nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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