we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
