he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
