So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
