You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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