so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
