saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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