wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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