she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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