Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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