But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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