So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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