Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
