Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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