my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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