I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
