those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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