youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
