She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
