On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
