but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There's even glitter on my cock...
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