They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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