Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
