and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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