so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
