So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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