So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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