He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
