Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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