dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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