I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
