it wasn't lemon gatorade
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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