He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize