How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
