There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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