He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
