Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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