he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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