i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
