Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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