I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
