he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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