your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Please, let me fuck your mom
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
