WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
