I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
