i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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