Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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