I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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